A lighthearted look at the 2015-16 Premier League Season

So, Jose Mourinho is now the new Manchester United manager. Being a huge Chelsea fan I'm not going to lie, it hurts to see him at Old Trafford. But I am willing to forgive him as long as he hands The Blues six points next season. Then again, if the same Mourinho that ended his reign at Chelsea turns up at United, he will be handing out points to everyone. It is rather ironic that Mourinho, whose biggest Achilles heel has been uniting a dressing room for a long period of time has gone to a team named "Man United". There's no denying that Jose Mourinho is The Special One, although he looked more like The Special Needs One last year.

What a crazy season it was last year. Little Leicester City became Premier League Champions and proved that anything is indeed possible. No dream is too big to reach. Funny, I'm still waiting for Selena Gomez to agree to become my wife. Seriously though, who in the hell actually thought that Leicester would become champions? I certainly didn't. If I did, I would be a lot richer right now. The Foxes were running wild all season, Everyone was thrilled for them, except for The Tories I would imagine.

Who can forget the "Battle of Stamford Bridge" between Chelsea and Tottenham? Wow, what a game. There were tackles flying all over the place, eye-pokes, choke-holds, you name it and Spurs' players and even manager did it. It was so brutal that I thought I had sat on the remote and switched it over to UFC. Chelsea's late equaliser meant Leicester were crowned champions, but the runners-up actually ended up finishing third. Only Spurs can manage to finish third in a two-horse race.

Those type of games are what football is all about, though. I love seeing that kind of passion. Speaking of passion, no one quite embodies that more than Arsene Wenger. Sorry, not passion. I mean failure. Then again, he has managed to win Arsenal 2 FA Cups in the last ten years. The mighty Portsmouth only have one FA Cup to their name in that time period. Any time I try and have some banter with Arsenal fans they just throw their rich history back in my face. They were successful once upon a time, but that's like England fans gloating about winning the 1966 World Cup. It just doesn't wash any more.

This may all be sounding a little biased, but that's only because I am biased. But I guess it would only be fair if I do rip on my beloved Chelsea a bit, and let's be honest, they certainly gave me a lot of material with their woeful attempt at trying to defend their crown last season. They were the worst Champions since The Spirit Squad in WWE. Every match was a further embarrassment. At one point I thought Chelsea were just trying to weed out all the plastic fans. I mean only the most loyal would have stayed through that abysmal season. 

So what happened to the most dominant Premier League Champions in history? Well, I think things began to go downhill when Mourinho gave Diego Costa a discount card for Burger King. Costa came back for pre-season training with a bigger stomach than Tyson Fury. Having your main striker unable to run three yards without gasping for breath did not bode well. Cesc Fabregas was the top assist maker in the title winning season, it's just a shame he forgot to go to his Specsavers appointment this year. Nemanja Matic was a beast in midfield, breaking up play with ease, but that didn't happen last season. Maybe he had a bang on the head, or maybe he spent one too many nights out with Jack Wilshere and Raheem Sterling if you know what I mean. And then there is Radamel Falcao. Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear. He went from being one of the most sought after strikers in the world to being passed around clubs like an unwanted cousin at Christmas.

What will next season bring? Will Mourinho lead United to the title? He led Chelsea to the worst title defense in Premier League history, but that was in his third year. United have two years of Mourinho bliss to enjoy before the inevitable implosion. Will Pep Guardiola make Man City Kings of Europe? Considering he couldn't even make Bayern Munich the Kings of Europe, I'd say the chances of that happening are slim. And how will Antonio Conte fare at Stamford Bridge? Well, he's already been embroiled in a massive court scandal, so I think he will fit in quite nicely.

Thank you for reading.